In this grub of life, I’ve been chewing on massive life lessons for breakfast, digesting serious set-backs for lunch, and devouring big life changes for dinner, washing it all down with soul-grow and burping up the most enthralling 44 years of delicious metamorphic existence. Some people are go-getters, some self-entitled grabbers, me, from my babyness and all the way to this womaness, I have been the eager change seeker, the convention challenger and rule breaker, with more of a tapas taste for change than colossal portions that I’ve been presented with thus far on life’s poo poo platter, so I thoroughly enjoy an occasional good old fashioned self initiated, small dose of change, a sort of a soul spring clean up, a brain wrinkle dust up and a small gust of fresh perspective through a clean window of my soul treat.
One of the biggest things I learned in life was that it goes much easier and lighter on my tummy if I chose change first, before life or someone else does it for me, because change is inevitable. After all the major loses in life, I now much prefer willingly reshuffling and changing things in me or around me, to being complacent for too long, and ending up either poked, kicked in the rear, or smacked over the head with unavoidable major change, in the most obnoxious way all at once. While I recognize the value of stress in life and how a healthy dose of it can drive things forward, lately, I am more of a go with a flow, hang loose “Shaka” kind of girl than a tsunami rider, so when I was recently looking at which part of my life I could intentionally alter ever so slightly, as a preventative, cleansing measure, I decided to take a silent, personal stand, to stage a mini solo revolution, and head in a more positive and liberating direction in an area where I have felt the most menial, annoying kind of pressure cooker pressure in the last few years. Facebook. I have just come out of a long period of healing and contemplation, a period filled with some really confusing, flummoxing, inspiring and astonishing human interactions that have taught me so much. It has all ultimately lead me to a sober, daytime decision to make my entire Facebook timeline, pictures and all, short of my address and cell phone number, completely public. It has now been public for about a year.
After losing my best friend and husband of 15 years, after turning the TV set off for the last two years, and after venturing on a personal journey of grief healing and introspection, I have reached a point in my life where I grew increasingly tired of losing people, and on top feeling over-burdened with these timeless, petty social conventions and etiquettes, the constant fear of loss of privacy, the constant defensive self preservation, the pseudo exercise of power, which ultimately translates into high-school level social media drama among grown ups, power plays and real life game of thrones, ostracism and bullying, the endless blocking and unblocking, the friending and un-friending, the liking and unliking, it all got so old, worn out, controlling and tiring and started to feel like a dirty old wet coat on my exhausted soul that I needed to take off.
I thought about it for a while and decided that the way I feel about my privacy, in realm of social media, in line with my personal values is that Facebook is my playground, it’s my sand box, it’s a small window into one playroom of my world, and you can only peak in and see what I place near it, the rest is private by ingenious life default, not by falsely securing privacy settings. I only create relief and positive change if I choose to take power into my own hands, and open up that window and leave it open for the world to freely come and see, in direct opposition to adults who get wrapped up in exercise of petty capriciousness power play and self righteousness, in negative, defensive, malicious or antisocial stance, of strictly limiting access to their playroom window, behind which they control the content on the shelves. Wait, what!? That spells childish game playing and nonsensical, busy work for me, needless stress and worry. There are books, apps and games for boring moments in life, why use my happy sandbox for the medieval turf war. I feel that my time is spent better on other than made up social conventions, especially when I could create my own, better, positive, loving ones. I control my own privacy from the source, from my heart and with all the love I have in it, I am posting selectively and with audience in mind, but openly and without any access restriction, without losing sleep, because I control the content and it’s changeable. If I wake up feeling sour or uneasy about the post, I edit it, or I take it down. Dunno, maybe it’s just me and my spacegoons way of seeing things, but If anyone in this world has time, energy, dedication or desire to scroll down my timeline and dig deep through my arguably “personal” stuff, then I am only flattered and humbled that my playful, expression of my zeitgeist, my virtual journal, along with my favorite tunes, articles and photographs is of any interest to someone other than me.
I choose to control my content instead of my content controlling me, or me controlling the people in my life, it’s so much more enjoyable that way, the open and loving way, where everyone is invited, welcome and allowed, sans restrictions.
Tags: antisocial stance, blocking, bullying, childish, content control, controlling, drama, etiquette, facebook, fear, friending, friendship, high school, life changes, life lessons, liking, loss of privacy, loving, medival turf war, ostracism, playful, playground, power play, privacy, sand box, self preservation, social conventions, social media, timeline, welcome, zeitgeist