spacegoons blog

blogging extemporaneously

Love and Lore

The sinkhole that swallowed my life

Originally posted on spacegoons blog:
Sitting  expressionless on the edge of the sinkhole that just swallowed my life, staring into the abyss, without clear emotion, just static, deaf brain fuzz. I’m thinking… I’ve been here once before. this moment of confusion and disbelief, a moment when shit becomes real, yet it feels like it’s happening in an alternate universe and to someone else…. a moment of amputation and final separation,…

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Full spectrum love

I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. We talked about the way he sees girls having expectations that everything is always smooth and happy in the relationship and their interactions are perfectly synced and understood. And if not, the tension kicks in and then it stops being fun. It made me reminisce about the multidimensional, natural, ebb and flow I experienced in my 15 year marriage. As a […]

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The math equation of beauty

“She is beautiful, she looks like a girl” said my doctor, while visiting the recovery room, just few hours after I gave birth to our daughter. I remember staring at her porcelain cheeks and face, trying to discover what exactly was so obviously girlish about her. Her lips? Her eyelashes? What? She was cute to me, but I don’t remember being all smitten when I looked at her, like, wow, […]

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Electric Dreams of my Commodore 64

I was cleaning up my daughter’s smudgy, sticky fingerprints from my laptop screen today, it made me think about how my 7 year old not only has internet and touchscreen as her birthright but she cannot imagine the world without the basic technology she grew up with since her infancy. It comes so intuitive to her that she instinctively goes for my laptop screen and is surprised to see that […]

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a cappuccino with my comrades, at a local Café Europa

A recent slightly stingy criticism from a friend, about using a foreign language as an aid to explain something to a weaker English speaker, triggered a nostalgic thinking spree. In my first 17 years in the States, I spoke English only. From the moment my passport was stamped and green card was handed to me at the airport, I was an exclusively English speaking resident, part by personal choice and […]

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The sinkhole that swallowed my life

Sitting  expressionless on the edge of the sinkhole that just swallowed my life, staring into the abyss, without clear emotion, just static, deaf brain fuzz. I’m thinking… I’ve been here once before. this moment of confusion and disbelief, a moment when shit becomes real, yet it feels like it’s happening in an alternate universe and to someone else…. a moment of amputation and final separation, a moment when life, the […]

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Can you make me fall in love with you?

I had a silly banter with a close male friend recently. We enjoy hanging out with each other and we both agreed early on not to let a relationship or sexual intimacy meddle with our friendship, so we keep it out of our friendship. Occasionally, my friend would call me up, after having had few drinks and would blubber about how he does not know if he will ever want […]

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